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Friday, April 1, 2011

Happy April Fools day!

So, fess, up, what was your best prank, ever?
I've pulled off some doozies - but nothing so far today. I'll have to cook up something good for when Handsome gets home.

My best ever?
I called up my (dear, sweet, long-suffering) mother and said "Mom, I've got a really big problem and I don't know what to do. I need your help."
Worried, she asked "What is it honey?"
"Mom," long pause for effect, "I'm pregnant." I held the phone away from my ear as wild shrieks of joy erupted from it. "Wait! You don't understand! It's not Handsome's."
  Silence dropped like someone had flipped a switch. After a long minute where I wondered if she had dropped the phone I heard a low "What?"
"It's not Handsome's" I repeated. "You know how we've had that friend staying here for a while...."
  My mom stuttered a few times before I continued. Anyone who knows me knows just what a bomb I dropped there. I would never, ever, ever betray someone.
"They don't even look similar. Doogie's real short, Handsome's going to know. I don't know what to do."
  I could sense my mother's shock and outrage swell like a balloon. Before it could burst I let her off the hook. "Happy April Fool's day Mom! I'm a little offended you didn't realize..."
  For the second time I held the phone from my ear as wild shrieks erupted from it - not of joy this time - with a few curses. Finally she calmed down. After breathing hard a few times she said - surprisingly calmly, "That was a good one. I didn't see that coming." A little wistfully she added, "Are you pregnant?"
"No. Still trying. Is Sis there?"
I could hear the wicked glee in my mother's voice "I'll get her. I think she heard me shouting."
"Ok, you gotta stop smiling though. She'll know."
"No, I'll look really mad."
"That would be great! Stand there and fume."
"Ok" I could hear my mother call for my sister. In my mind's eye I could picture her shoving the phone at Sis. "Here. It's your sister." Mom sounded grim and disapproving.
"Hey, what's up?" Sis asked. Trusting fool.
I took a couple of short, hitching breaths into the phone and then said, "Sis, I've got a problem. Mom's really mad at me ... I'm pregnant."
I held the phone away from my ear as wild shrieks of joy erupted from it - then stopped suddenly. "Wait a minute. Why is Mom mad?"
"Well," long pause for effect...

1 comment:

  1. Haha! That is funny! I posted on FB last year that I was pregnant on April 1st. I just had a baby January 24th...number 6. I had one person figure it out pretty quick and the rest and posted that it was an April Fool's joke so it kind of blew it right from the get go.