So, fess, up, what was your best prank, ever?
I've pulled off some doozies - but nothing so far today. I'll have to cook up something good for when Handsome gets home.
My best ever?
I called up my (dear, sweet, long-suffering) mother and said "Mom, I've got a really big problem and I don't know what to do. I need your help."
Worried, she asked "What is it honey?"
"Mom," long pause for effect, "I'm pregnant." I held the phone away from my ear as wild shrieks of joy erupted from it. "Wait! You don't understand! It's not Handsome's."
Silence dropped like someone had flipped a switch. After a long minute where I wondered if she had dropped the phone I heard a low "What?"
"It's not Handsome's" I repeated. "You know how we've had that friend staying here for a while...."
My mom stuttered a few times before I continued. Anyone who knows me knows just what a bomb I dropped there. I would never, ever, ever betray someone.
"They don't even look similar. Doogie's real short, Handsome's going to know. I don't know what to do."
I could sense my mother's shock and outrage swell like a balloon. Before it could burst I let her off the hook. "Happy April Fool's day Mom! I'm a little offended you didn't realize..."
For the second time I held the phone from my ear as wild shrieks erupted from it - not of joy this time - with a few curses. Finally she calmed down. After breathing hard a few times she said - surprisingly calmly, "That was a good one. I didn't see that coming." A little wistfully she added, "Are you pregnant?"
"No. Still trying. Is Sis there?"
I could hear the wicked glee in my mother's voice "I'll get her. I think she heard me shouting."
"Ok, you gotta stop smiling though. She'll know."
"No, I'll look really mad."
"That would be great! Stand there and fume."
"Ok" I could hear my mother call for my sister. In my mind's eye I could picture her shoving the phone at Sis. "Here. It's your sister." Mom sounded grim and disapproving.
"Hey, what's up?" Sis asked. Trusting fool.
I took a couple of short, hitching breaths into the phone and then said, "Sis, I've got a problem. Mom's really mad at me ... I'm pregnant."
I held the phone away from my ear as wild shrieks of joy erupted from it - then stopped suddenly. "Wait a minute. Why is Mom mad?"
"Well," long pause for effect...